Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize