no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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