the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
