I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
