and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
