You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
