he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
