She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
