Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
