we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
