Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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