some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
