Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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