i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
