I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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