why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
