i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
