well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
