Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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