Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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