I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i barfeds in our rink
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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