There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
