OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
