i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
