what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
