HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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