Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
