Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
