But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
