i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
