I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just sucked dick on a ferry
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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