Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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