We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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