She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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