what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
