So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just want to make out with him forever
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
