Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
