We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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