I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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