is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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