you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
