i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
