We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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