So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
