I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
