Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
