I hate your face
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
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