so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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