Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
