How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
