Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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