I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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