I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
