hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
