she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
