you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
