This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
