i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
