i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
