You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
