after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize